I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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