Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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