There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
