you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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