I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
