Sry I called you an 8
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
