Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
