I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
