I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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