What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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