I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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