dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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