i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
