just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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