So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize