Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
