dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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