how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
