And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize