just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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