We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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