we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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