I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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