i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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