I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
