how can u be prego again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize