I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
