I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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