You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I could make wine with my vomit
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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