he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
