It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
false alarm, still single
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
