Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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