Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
