I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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