I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
