im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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