The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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