Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
