You really coming over, don't trick.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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