I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
