Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Less talking, more tequila
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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