Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
