i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
