I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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