how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
