he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize