They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
