What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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