The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
