..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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