I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
