I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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