3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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