Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize