awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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