So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
