whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
