How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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