Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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