Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
