Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Welp...herpes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
