I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
